No one here can just message you out of nowhere – and you can't do that to anyone else, either. A conversation only gets going once both people put something into it. That's not a limitation; it's our protection against spam, harassment and mass messaging.
How a conversation starts
- You react publicly. You comment on someone's event or reply to their post in a discussion. That shows interest, but it's not a private chat yet.
- The other person decides. They see your reaction in their reactions area. If they don't do anything, that's where it stays – your reaction eventually disappears along with the content.
- They reply to you personally. When they tap "Reply" on your reaction and write to you, that's the first private message – and only then is your chat open.
- Now you can write to each other. From here on, you can both send text, images and voice messages.
- Eventually the chat closes again. Once 24 hours pass with no new message, the conversation is over. Starting again needs a fresh reaction and another personal reply – unless you're already friends.
What you can count on
- A reaction alone never opens a private chat by itself.
- Only the person who created the event or post can open the first private chat in response to a reaction.
- Even if the original event disappears later, a chat that's already open keeps running independently until its messages expire.
- Every direct message is deleted for both people 24 hours after it's sent – whether it was read or not.
Questions we hear a lot
Why can't I write to someone even though I commented? Because that person hasn't personally replied to your reaction yet.
We wrote to each other yesterday – why doesn't it work today? All the messages have probably expired by now. Just react to something of theirs again, or become friends.
Can a stranger simply message me? No. No message reaches you without your reply to their reaction, or an accepted friendship.